Woodpigeons don't coo, they woohoo,
over and over and over until
you wonder if you really do like birds.
Woodpigeons try and try and try
to make their twiggy nests
in places you don't want them.
Woodpigeons don't use the bowl
you put out - they trample through
your brand new water-feature.
Woodpigeons hunch on the open fence
in the freezing wind and rain
despite you providing shelter.
Woodpigeons perch on the gutters
and shit on the windows,
then fly off applauding themselves.